A virgin is someone (male or female) who has never engaged in sexual intercourse. He or she is in his/her original pure or natural condition, unchanged, untouched, ‘unspoilt’ by sexual activities.
There is a way to recognize such a female (lady) who is still a virgin. She has her hymen still intact. Hymen is a membrane that partly covers the opening of a vagina in women who have not had sexual intercourse. However, some ladies who are sport women or who have had surgery performed on their vagina for certain medical condition may have lost their hymen though still a virgin i.e. though not yet engaged in sexual intercourse.
In the case of a young man there is really no way of recognizing whether he is still a virgin or not.
There is a way to recognize such a female (lady) who is still a virgin. She has her hymen still intact. Hymen is a membrane that partly covers the opening of a vagina in women who have not had sexual intercourse. However, some ladies who are sport women or who have had surgery performed on their vagina for certain medical condition may have lost their hymen though still a virgin i.e. though not yet engaged in sexual intercourse.
In the case of a young man there is really no way of recognizing whether he is still a virgin or not.
Biblical Perspective on Virginity
In the old testament, among God’s covenant people, Israel, virginity was a thing of honour especially among the ladies who had a token (evidence) of their virginity. Both the lady and her father took pride in her virginity. Usually the wedding night reveals whether a lady is still a virgin or not. This is because, the wedding night supposed to present the first opportunity for sexual intercourse for both the lady and her husband. The lady’s hymen is supposed to be broken that night through penile penetration into the vagina. When broken, there will be minimal bleeding which stains the bed sheet and this becomes the evidence of the lady’s virginity. In Israel, if any man met his wife as a virgin, he was not permitted to put her away. However, if not, the lady was supposed to be brought to the door of her father’s house and stoned to death for playing the whore (harlotry) in her father’s house. Deut.22:13-21.
Such was the importance attached to virginity among God’s covenant people. It was the honour, pride and dignity of a lady and by extension that of her father, that she married her husband still as a virgin. Solomon also had this to say concerning virginity in form of a parable in Song of Solomon 8:8-10
“We have a little sister and she hath no breasts; what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for?
If she be a wall, we will build upon her a palace of silver; and if she be a door, we will inclose her with boards of cedar,
I am a wall, and my breasts like a towers: then was I in his eyes as one that found favour.”
This can be interpreted to mean; on the day of the reckoning (i.e. the wedding night) when our sister is assumed to have her first opportunity for sexual intercourse; if she is found as a wall (a virgin whose hymen is still intact) she will be honoured and rewarded by having a palace of silver built for her. However, if she is a door (i.e. free entrance by reason of having her hymen broken due to sexual immorality in the past) she shall be put to shame and inclose with boards of cedar. Much more importantly, if she is still a wall (a virgin) she shall found favour in the sight of her husband. In other words, she shall be held in high esteem by her husband. Lady, remaining a virgin till your wedding night is gloriously dignifying and honourable.
Although, there is no way to ascertain a virgin young man but I tell you remaining a virgin as a young man until wedding night is equally dignifying and honourable. How you may ask? Because your heavenly Father (God) who sees you in the secret of your singlehood keeping yourself chaste (sexually pure) shall definitely reward you openly. Moreso, we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ to give account of ourselves to God concerning all we did while on the earth. 2Cor.5:10. Therefore, either a male or a female you must remain sexually pure all through singlehood. You must also keep your bed undefiled even after marriage by remaining sexually faithfully to your one and only spouse alone. Heb.13:4
In the old testament, among God’s covenant people, Israel, virginity was a thing of honour especially among the ladies who had a token (evidence) of their virginity. Both the lady and her father took pride in her virginity. Usually the wedding night reveals whether a lady is still a virgin or not. This is because, the wedding night supposed to present the first opportunity for sexual intercourse for both the lady and her husband. The lady’s hymen is supposed to be broken that night through penile penetration into the vagina. When broken, there will be minimal bleeding which stains the bed sheet and this becomes the evidence of the lady’s virginity. In Israel, if any man met his wife as a virgin, he was not permitted to put her away. However, if not, the lady was supposed to be brought to the door of her father’s house and stoned to death for playing the whore (harlotry) in her father’s house. Deut.22:13-21.
Such was the importance attached to virginity among God’s covenant people. It was the honour, pride and dignity of a lady and by extension that of her father, that she married her husband still as a virgin. Solomon also had this to say concerning virginity in form of a parable in Song of Solomon 8:8-10
“We have a little sister and she hath no breasts; what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for?
If she be a wall, we will build upon her a palace of silver; and if she be a door, we will inclose her with boards of cedar,
I am a wall, and my breasts like a towers: then was I in his eyes as one that found favour.”
This can be interpreted to mean; on the day of the reckoning (i.e. the wedding night) when our sister is assumed to have her first opportunity for sexual intercourse; if she is found as a wall (a virgin whose hymen is still intact) she will be honoured and rewarded by having a palace of silver built for her. However, if she is a door (i.e. free entrance by reason of having her hymen broken due to sexual immorality in the past) she shall be put to shame and inclose with boards of cedar. Much more importantly, if she is still a wall (a virgin) she shall found favour in the sight of her husband. In other words, she shall be held in high esteem by her husband. Lady, remaining a virgin till your wedding night is gloriously dignifying and honourable.
Although, there is no way to ascertain a virgin young man but I tell you remaining a virgin as a young man until wedding night is equally dignifying and honourable. How you may ask? Because your heavenly Father (God) who sees you in the secret of your singlehood keeping yourself chaste (sexually pure) shall definitely reward you openly. Moreso, we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ to give account of ourselves to God concerning all we did while on the earth. 2Cor.5:10. Therefore, either a male or a female you must remain sexually pure all through singlehood. You must also keep your bed undefiled even after marriage by remaining sexually faithfully to your one and only spouse alone. Heb.13:4
Health Tips
It is important for us to know that sexual intercourse is such an act established by God within the context of marriage principally for the following reasons:
• Pleasure. Eccl.4:11, Gen.26:8
• Procreation (Child Bearing). Gen.1:27–28; and
• To prevent fornication / adultery. 1Cor.7:1-2
This means the good use of it glorifies God, gladdens the heart of God and fulfills God’s purpose. However, the wrong use of it does not only sadden the heart of God it also endangers the life of anyone engaging in it. The wrong use of it is what is known as sexual immorality.
Sexual immorality, defiling oneself with a man or men or with a woman or women as the case may be through sexual intercourse either before marriage or even after marriage has some health implications. These health implications include:
• Risk of unwanted pregnancy (ies)
• Complications of unsafe abortion
• Sexually transmitted infections (STI) including HIV/AIDS
Why is this so? Usually because young people engaging in sexual intercourse are not ready or ripe for the responsibility of becoming pregnant and bearing children, they end–up with unwanted pregnancies which they often seek to abort. Also because abortion is still illegal in our country (Nigeria), they usually procure abortion from unskilled individuals and end-up with numerous immediate and delayed complications such as excessive bleeding, perforation of their wombs, adhesion of the wound’s cavity, damage to the intestine, inability to conceive later in life, womb loss and even death, just to mention a few. In the event that such pregnancy is not aborted, the young person may drop out of schools and become father or mother who cannot fend for him/herself not to talk of the baby. They become liabilities and constitute a nuisance to the society. Sometime, such young people also come down with numerous sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as gonorrhea, human papilloma virus infection, chancroid, genital warts, human immune deficiency virus (HIV) infection, and so on. Often times, because of the shame associated with the symptoms of STI, young people would not seek medical treatments from competent hands. Hence, such STI become poorly treated and can also lead to complications. As I write, there has not yet been a cure for HIV/AIDS the drugs given to patients with HIV/AIDS only reduce the viral load in the body and they are not without their numerous unpalatable side effects.
Because of these grave consequences of sexual immorality among both the young people and the adults, medical science has come up with certain prevention and control strategies known as “ABCD” of prevention. In which:
• “A” stands for “Abstinence” that is, staying away from sexual intercourse because it only takes sexual intercourse to contract sexually transmitted infections as the name connotes. It is also the best way to avoid unwanted pregnancies, unsafe abortion and its complications that follow seeking to get rid of such unwanted pregnancies.
• “B” stands for “Be faithful” to a faithful partner that is not infected by any of these sexually transmitted infections especially for those who are married.
• “C” stands for correct and consistent use of Condom (which is a thin rubber covering worn by a man on an erected penis or inserted into the woman’s vagina prior to sexual intercourse) to prevent unwanted pregnancies and STIs that can be contracted through exchange of genital fluids. This means condom does not prevent against the STIs that are transmitted just through contact.
• “D” stands for Drug use for the appropriate treatment of such STIs. Contact or cluster tracing is very important; that is looking for and treating the sexual partner(s). Otherwise, if only the infected individual is treated without the partner(s), there is a high chance of contracting such STI again coupled with increased risk of spread of such STI to all partners involved in a chain reaction even among the community.
In addition to condom use, there are other contraceptive methods which only prevent unwanted pregnancies (though they can still fail) but do not prevent sexually transmitted infections. It is quite pathetic today that numerous young people who are only afraid of unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted infection have taken to contraceptives use especially condom; and have become liberal with promiscuity. While these prevention strategies (especially the last three) are recommended on health ground every young person who cherishes a glorious future and wants to live in the fear of God is advised to embrace ABSTINENCE at all cost.
It is important for us to know that sexual intercourse is such an act established by God within the context of marriage principally for the following reasons:
• Pleasure. Eccl.4:11, Gen.26:8
• Procreation (Child Bearing). Gen.1:27–28; and
• To prevent fornication / adultery. 1Cor.7:1-2
This means the good use of it glorifies God, gladdens the heart of God and fulfills God’s purpose. However, the wrong use of it does not only sadden the heart of God it also endangers the life of anyone engaging in it. The wrong use of it is what is known as sexual immorality.
Sexual immorality, defiling oneself with a man or men or with a woman or women as the case may be through sexual intercourse either before marriage or even after marriage has some health implications. These health implications include:
• Risk of unwanted pregnancy (ies)
• Complications of unsafe abortion
• Sexually transmitted infections (STI) including HIV/AIDS
Why is this so? Usually because young people engaging in sexual intercourse are not ready or ripe for the responsibility of becoming pregnant and bearing children, they end–up with unwanted pregnancies which they often seek to abort. Also because abortion is still illegal in our country (Nigeria), they usually procure abortion from unskilled individuals and end-up with numerous immediate and delayed complications such as excessive bleeding, perforation of their wombs, adhesion of the wound’s cavity, damage to the intestine, inability to conceive later in life, womb loss and even death, just to mention a few. In the event that such pregnancy is not aborted, the young person may drop out of schools and become father or mother who cannot fend for him/herself not to talk of the baby. They become liabilities and constitute a nuisance to the society. Sometime, such young people also come down with numerous sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as gonorrhea, human papilloma virus infection, chancroid, genital warts, human immune deficiency virus (HIV) infection, and so on. Often times, because of the shame associated with the symptoms of STI, young people would not seek medical treatments from competent hands. Hence, such STI become poorly treated and can also lead to complications. As I write, there has not yet been a cure for HIV/AIDS the drugs given to patients with HIV/AIDS only reduce the viral load in the body and they are not without their numerous unpalatable side effects.
Because of these grave consequences of sexual immorality among both the young people and the adults, medical science has come up with certain prevention and control strategies known as “ABCD” of prevention. In which:
• “A” stands for “Abstinence” that is, staying away from sexual intercourse because it only takes sexual intercourse to contract sexually transmitted infections as the name connotes. It is also the best way to avoid unwanted pregnancies, unsafe abortion and its complications that follow seeking to get rid of such unwanted pregnancies.
• “B” stands for “Be faithful” to a faithful partner that is not infected by any of these sexually transmitted infections especially for those who are married.
• “C” stands for correct and consistent use of Condom (which is a thin rubber covering worn by a man on an erected penis or inserted into the woman’s vagina prior to sexual intercourse) to prevent unwanted pregnancies and STIs that can be contracted through exchange of genital fluids. This means condom does not prevent against the STIs that are transmitted just through contact.
• “D” stands for Drug use for the appropriate treatment of such STIs. Contact or cluster tracing is very important; that is looking for and treating the sexual partner(s). Otherwise, if only the infected individual is treated without the partner(s), there is a high chance of contracting such STI again coupled with increased risk of spread of such STI to all partners involved in a chain reaction even among the community.
In addition to condom use, there are other contraceptive methods which only prevent unwanted pregnancies (though they can still fail) but do not prevent sexually transmitted infections. It is quite pathetic today that numerous young people who are only afraid of unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted infection have taken to contraceptives use especially condom; and have become liberal with promiscuity. While these prevention strategies (especially the last three) are recommended on health ground every young person who cherishes a glorious future and wants to live in the fear of God is advised to embrace ABSTINENCE at all cost.
Spiritual Perspective on Abstinence
Solomon, the wisest man that ever lived, who explored a lot of pleasures of life in a godless adventurous lifestyle (see the whole of Ecclesiastes), concluded as follows:
“But whose comitteth adultery with a woman (or even fornication be it with a woman or man) lacketh understanding, he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.” Prov.6:32
“For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life to keep the from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman, Lust not after her beauty in thine heart neither let her take thee with her eyelids; for by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread, and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.”
Prov.6:23-26
“To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Eccl.1:3
There is a time to be single and it should be enjoyed to the peak as you live in the fear of God glorifying him with your entire life and body. There is also a time to be married and we are commanded in the scripture to also enjoy it to the peak as one:
“Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers with thee. Let thy fountains be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe: let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and pondereth all his goings.”
Prov.5:15-21
Singlehood is a time you should concentrate at building yourself up in faith. It is a time you develop in education and/or vocation so as to be economically responsible in life. It is not a time to focus on sexual immorality because sexual immorality erodes intelligences (remember biblical Samson); it causes distraction and cuts dream short. It makes a young man or woman to live in the mirage of his/her dream. It relegates to the rear parts of life. It makes one to live in regrets. Even if a young man or woman says he/she will protect against unwanted pregnancies and STIs by using condom, he/she must remember that God’s eyes are on him/her. You may escape unwanted pregnancies and STI but do you think you can escape the judgment of God? There is also a mystery of transference of spiritual virtue/substance during sexual intercourse. Meaning that engaging in sexual immorality promotes partaking in one’s partner negative spiritual virtues and influences. This is why the bible said he that is joined with a harlot has become one flesh with her. 1Cor.6:16. This means even if condom prevents against STI and unwanted pregnancies; it can never prevent against sexually transmitted demons and all forms of negative unseen spiritual virtue, influences and substances exchanged during sexual intercourse. Therefore, young man, young woman take caution and embrace abstinence. Sex is worth waiting for. So be wise. Secure your future and your eternity. Zip up!
“For the conclusion of the whole matter is fear God and keep his commandments; for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment with every secret thing whether it be good or whether it be evil.”
Eccl.12:13-14.
May God’s grace be sufficient for you to keep yourself pure and chaste until your wedding night and also unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
Solomon, the wisest man that ever lived, who explored a lot of pleasures of life in a godless adventurous lifestyle (see the whole of Ecclesiastes), concluded as follows:
“But whose comitteth adultery with a woman (or even fornication be it with a woman or man) lacketh understanding, he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.” Prov.6:32
“For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life to keep the from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman, Lust not after her beauty in thine heart neither let her take thee with her eyelids; for by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread, and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.”
Prov.6:23-26
“To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Eccl.1:3
There is a time to be single and it should be enjoyed to the peak as you live in the fear of God glorifying him with your entire life and body. There is also a time to be married and we are commanded in the scripture to also enjoy it to the peak as one:
“Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers with thee. Let thy fountains be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe: let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and pondereth all his goings.”
Prov.5:15-21
Singlehood is a time you should concentrate at building yourself up in faith. It is a time you develop in education and/or vocation so as to be economically responsible in life. It is not a time to focus on sexual immorality because sexual immorality erodes intelligences (remember biblical Samson); it causes distraction and cuts dream short. It makes a young man or woman to live in the mirage of his/her dream. It relegates to the rear parts of life. It makes one to live in regrets. Even if a young man or woman says he/she will protect against unwanted pregnancies and STIs by using condom, he/she must remember that God’s eyes are on him/her. You may escape unwanted pregnancies and STI but do you think you can escape the judgment of God? There is also a mystery of transference of spiritual virtue/substance during sexual intercourse. Meaning that engaging in sexual immorality promotes partaking in one’s partner negative spiritual virtues and influences. This is why the bible said he that is joined with a harlot has become one flesh with her. 1Cor.6:16. This means even if condom prevents against STI and unwanted pregnancies; it can never prevent against sexually transmitted demons and all forms of negative unseen spiritual virtue, influences and substances exchanged during sexual intercourse. Therefore, young man, young woman take caution and embrace abstinence. Sex is worth waiting for. So be wise. Secure your future and your eternity. Zip up!
“For the conclusion of the whole matter is fear God and keep his commandments; for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment with every secret thing whether it be good or whether it be evil.”
Eccl.12:13-14.
May God’s grace be sufficient for you to keep yourself pure and chaste until your wedding night and also unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
Dr. Israel Adeyemi Owoade
President, Covenant and Light Gospel Mission, Ile-Ife, Osun State, Nigeria
israeladeyemigmi@gmail.com
08137731718, 09092870794
President, Covenant and Light Gospel Mission, Ile-Ife, Osun State, Nigeria
israeladeyemigmi@gmail.com
08137731718, 09092870794
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